That’s ENOUGH American Apparel

I get it.

Sex sells.

But frankly, I’m not buying. I’m good, thanks. And if I were buying, I wouldn’t be buying it in the form of body suits. And for that matter, since when does convincing me to buy body suits (proudly made in America for my pale Canadian ass), involve molesting my eyes with illicit advertisements while all I’m trying to do is get my morning joy from reading about other people’s hangovers via their Texts from Last Night???

Because the "I forgot my pants"-Tank was already trademarked...

When hanging out in Creepy Uncle Sven's 70's Basement, be sure to drape oneself along the stairs in a lace catsuit - it's the surest way to avoid molestation.

You couldn't just say 'thong' somewhere on the ad? No? You really had to demonstrate quite so visually?

So over I go to check out what else they’ve got floating around their website. Sure enough, they saved the tamer stuff for other peoples ad space. Their own turf is pretty much free game.

ps this is not clothes!

Hey boys and girls, did Mom put that annoying filter on your internet that doesn’t let you get the dirty sites? Well now you can get your jollies while under the convenient guise of shopping for lace bodysuits!

I have a crotch! Wheeeee!

Yep, that's pretty much just a vagina. Thanks for that.

"Can you unzip me" isn't as classy when the zip is on the front.

Seriously now! You can pretty much just print this out and have sex with it.

Ok, you know what? I'm going home now and putting on more clothes. After a shower.

Advertisements

5 Comments

  1. sleepyjane said,

    March 31, 2010 at 6:37 am

    That’s disgusting. Who’d wear that anyway?!

    Hookers.

    That’s who.

  2. March 31, 2010 at 4:07 pm

    oh, so THAT’S how pantyhose go on.

  3. missqueenb said,

    April 2, 2010 at 12:57 am

    Blame Lady Gaga. Body suits werent in until she popped up wearing ’em.

    Why WOULD anyone want to wear one of these?

  4. David said,

    April 2, 2010 at 1:19 am

    As the first guy to comment here, I think (c’mon Josh- help me out buddy), I have to say that I can’t really see anything much wrong with these clothing items. Other than that they are made in the USA … and what fucking sense does it make to put on clothes to be more naked? But hey, I’m just another stupid guy.

  5. April 6, 2010 at 10:41 am

    I’ll have to agree with David here… and wow… hawtness… a big big must…
    hehehehehe
    what???? want something more natural than naked people???? did you ciome to the world naked or dressed??? Veve la nakedness!!!
    LOL


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: