That’s ENOUGH American Apparel

I get it.

Sex sells.

But frankly, I’m not buying. I’m good, thanks. And if I were buying, I wouldn’t be buying it in the form of body suits. And for that matter, since when does convincing me to buy body suits (proudly made in America for my pale Canadian ass), involve molesting my eyes with illicit advertisements while all I’m trying to do is get my morning joy from reading about other people’s hangovers via their Texts from Last Night???

Because the "I forgot my pants"-Tank was already trademarked...

When hanging out in Creepy Uncle Sven's 70's Basement, be sure to drape oneself along the stairs in a lace catsuit - it's the surest way to avoid molestation.

You couldn't just say 'thong' somewhere on the ad? No? You really had to demonstrate quite so visually?

So over I go to check out what else they’ve got floating around their website. Sure enough, they saved the tamer stuff for other peoples ad space. Their own turf is pretty much free game.

ps this is not clothes!

Hey boys and girls, did Mom put that annoying filter on your internet that doesn’t let you get the dirty sites? Well now you can get your jollies while under the convenient guise of shopping for lace bodysuits!

I have a crotch! Wheeeee!

Yep, that's pretty much just a vagina. Thanks for that.

"Can you unzip me" isn't as classy when the zip is on the front.

Seriously now! You can pretty much just print this out and have sex with it.

Ok, you know what? I'm going home now and putting on more clothes. After a shower.

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