Woah, What a Weekend!

Dudes, it’s been a while since I’ve had this much fun. Since Talea has her license back now, I obviously had to take advantage of this thrilling opportunity. Neither of us drive on a regular basis, as we are hardcore believers in the public transportation system, superior to cars in our fair city. But the allure of a road trip was just too much, and I had a few errands to run anyways, so why not? Renting a car turned out to be ridiculously cheap and so we made a day of it!

The first agenda of the day was to bring two of my bunnies to their new home at a farm north of the city. It was sad to have to give them away, and of course I’ll miss them. But with so many things calling for my attention, what with the website, the knitting and crafting, work, the energy it takes with a long distance relationship and dealing with legal issues, immigration and economic strain, the bunnies were not getting the attention they deserved. And frankly, four bunnies is a lot, especially in a teeny weeny apartment. So now they live on a farm with tons of room. Mommy and daddy bunny are still together in my bedroom, and they were never really bonded to their offspring. And as for the two little ones, they were not as closely bonded with me. So no bunny feelings were hurt, and everyone has more space and love! A good thing.

Along the way, we stopped for gas, got some Doritos, Dr. Pepper and some donuts – Krispy Kreme! You can get them up here in certain places and oohhhh they were so good! The car came with a cd player, and so it was Garth Brooks, the Dixie Chicks and Janis Joplin all the way.

After the farm, we went to Wonderland! WOOOOOOOOO ROLLER COASTERS!!!!!!

we are both about 30 lbs lighter than our hoodies would imply, please make note

we are both about 30 lbs lighter than our hoodies would imply, please make note

Talea was a little uncertain and wanted to start with some of the easier rides, but I tossed her onto some of the more hardcore ones pretty quickly, knowing she’d get over it. After three screamfests, she was convinced enough to go on The Bat which, while by no means the newest or baddest ride, has daunted many. I was so worried she was just going to end up holding my purse the entire day, but it turns out she’s not immune to awesome.

After The Bat we went to Hanna Barbera land, which is the kiddie end of the park with all things Jetsons and Flinstones and Scooby Doo. Every time I go to Wonderland I have to go to Hanna Barbera land to ride the Ghoster Coaster, a kiddie coaster that terrified me back in the day, to reface my fear and kick it in the face. To be completely truthful, it’s a pretty hardcore ride for a kid! I would have taken a video if it hadn’t been too much work just staying in my seat. We were rocking around to the point of injury and with two sets of grown up lady hips jammed in an itty bitty seat designed for a grown up and a kid, well I damn near popped out of the stupid thing. Just take my word for it, I had good reason to be traumatized.

Anyways, Ghoster Coaster aside, kiddie land is always a fun colourful place to be, and I enjoy the ritual side trip. Onlookers? Pfft, whatevs man.

Afterwards we went on more rides and then stopped for the best lunch ever. We’re in Canada’s Wonderland, might as well go super Canadian with poutine, right?

soooo goood

soooo goood

Then we watched some donuts being made, but did not partake as we had already eaten some Krispy Kremes.

Mmmm DONUTS!

Mmmm DONUTS!

random photo

random photo

We also found the most hardcore carnie ever. He wasn’t hardcore in that he was old or tattooed or smelled of cabbage. He was just some kid who had apparently had enough of people trying their hand at operating the safety restraints themselves.

Baseball bats, people! If we didn’t stop fiddling with the devices, he was going to hit our knees with bats! I guess that’s still better than falling out of a ride, so I just shut my mouth and let him lock me in.

Then we returned to our favourite coaster, The Vortex, which climbs up and then flies down the side of the mountain and swings you nearly into the water below. We were also getting hit with water from above, as it was drizzling lightly for most of the day (no lineups! sweet!) but decided to start raining and even hailing for about five seconds while we were on the ride. It was still pretty rad though.

The first time we went on the ride, I forgot where that first big drop was.

By the time we rode all of the rides (all the good ones at least) we were pretty tired, so instead of staying until the park closes, we went to nearby Ikea where we got to spend company money on new art for the reception area. What pair of chicks doesn’t love surfing the shelves of Ikea with someone else’s money? It was fun times, and we found everything we needed and stayed under budget too! We were close enough to work that we could drop off the art at the office and save ourselves having to haul anything on the subway. Then we went to our friend May’s house for a quick visit and coffee, dropped the rental car back at the lot, and taxied home through a dark, rainy, overall awesome night to the tune of the Sneaker Pimps.

Today, I cleaned out the rabbit room, bleached the crap out of my kitchen and bathroom, washed all of my dishes and got to spend some quality time with my super sexy boyfriend.

Me and My Sexy Man In Dixie Land

Me and My Sexy Man In Dixie Land

Um, over the webcam of course. That photo is from my trip down south this past June. And yes, that is a bottle cap stuck to my chest.

So it has been a fantastic weekend! As for Josh, he had some wild times too and picked up a few souvenirs for me, including a tshirt that says Honky Tonk Badonkadonk. Pictures are on the way, I’m sure 😉

Oh, and I started some new knitting projects, those will be on the way too!

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Cotton Kicks My Ass (But I Kick Back!)

Oh my freaking God, I finally finished the lime green basketweave scarf!!!

All praise the gloriousity that is my lime green basketweave scarf!!!

This yarn…it…tried to kill me, honestly. I’ve had it for EVER and this is the third time I’ve tried to knit something with it. It’s just so fussy, so splitty, and it’s 100% cotton, so it doesn’t glide like your cheap acrylics. It’s a bitch, plain and simple, and so unforgiving of any mistakes.

This yarn, it kicks my ass.

Oh, but it’s pretty! It’s oh so pretty and bright and vibrant! And so full of cottony goodness! So I fought and I fussed and I missed busses to stop and carefully undo six rows of what I had thought to be meticulous knitting and purling, and do it up all over again. I had already knit a third of a scarf in a seed stitch pattern, with nifty little bobbles running up the side in sets of three. But again, so unforgiving! – and the itty bitty flaws of the knitter I was six months ago drove me up the wall until I finally undid it all and wrapped it up to wrestle with again another day.

And this time, dammit, I was good enough and focused enough to take the most unforgiving (but so pretty) yarn and neatly loop it together in such a way as to produce a pretty fantastic scarf.

Go me!

*Gives finger to yarn* Take that, bitch! Think you’re tough? I bought your ass in BLUE! That’s right, a magnificent cyan! Coming soon, yo.

Why Ami Sucked

I’m going to tell you a little story about someone I used to know. It’s a long story, not very crafty, and only relationshippy if you kind of stretch your definitions. But I think it’s worth sharing. I was inspired to share this tale with you by Ginny and her Tupperware Story, because nothing is more awesome than tales of woe about people who pissed you off in your past. This is the tale of a douchey girl, how she pissed me off, and how I kicked her ass at life.

I was about six months out of my first year at university, in which my aim had been Forensic Psychology. I still love the topic, but math makes me angry. A lot of other factors were involved, but long story short, I went a little crazy and flipped university the bird.

So! That summer I went back to work at the Bubblegum Factory. I won’t get into these details right now, but suffice it to say that working from 7pm to 7am in fluorescent lighting and a white jumpsuit really isn’t good for your failing and flailing mental health.

And yet it was better than uni (though clearly not for very long with those hours), so come September, I asked them to extend my contract for another six months so I could earn buckets of cash while figuring out how to turn my new interest (painting up models for photographers) into a career.

After wisely drinking away most of what I earned at the factory and taking out a huge loan to pay for three months at a private makeup school, I was broke like nobodies business. Things are back on track now, but the makeup thing didn’t work out. Turns out everybody and their mother is a makeup artist in Toronto, and frankly I wasn’t in any kind of mental shape to start my own business.

And so, like so many, I resorted to the world of telemarketing. My first gig was calling up people who had filled out a form at some trade show for what they believed to be a free vacation because they didn’t bother reading the back of the form. My job was to call these people up, listen to them excitedly tell their toddlers that they were going to fucking Disneyland (it wasn’t actually Disneyland, it was somewhere with dolphins but I’ve blocked most of it out) and then hear their disappointment after telling them that it wasn’t free, it was just seriously discounted and of course they had to pay their own airfare and sit through a presentation. 

Ami was an admin assistant there. Eventually, we both left the company, and wound up selling gas contracts. It was a difficult sell given the dip in prices at the time, but those fuckers would be laughing now. The difference now is that Ami was my manager. And she was terrible at her job.

This is where I became friends with Talea. She was the quiet office manager who also answered all the phones. She ran the entire office from her little desk. When we became friends, she had me bumped up to reception because it was too much work for her. I quickly began to realize why. Everything Ami touched went wrong. Not a week went by where she claimed to have never received an email despite the record of it having been sent from Talea’s or my own computer. Not a day went by where I didn’t have to set aside forty five minutes to fix something she had fucked up. Not a day went by where I didn’t look over at her desk and see her surfing through cute animal pictures. Not an hour went by where she didn’t spend ten minutes in the bathroom reapplying eight coats of whore red lipstick and adjusting her tight-bottomed skirt. Talea later told me that she had initial doubts about talking to me because Ami was my friend and frankly, Talea can’t handle stupid people. Thankfully, neither can I, so Ami and I were destined to part ways eventually.

To be fair though, Ami wasn’t skanky, despite the ill-fitted skirt. No. She was a relationship whore, the kind of girl who doesn’t seem to know who she is unless she’s in a relationship. She was never Ami, she was always Ami-and. Ami-and-whoever.

Ami had a friend at work. His name was Scott, and he did the recruiting. Recruiters for shitty telemarketing jobs are, by the very nature of the task at hand, soulless little fuckers. But I liked him. We got along, watched some games, drank some beer, and before long, had a casual little thing going. Before it could go anywhere, Ami’s boyfriend dumped her and moved out of their apartment. She took back her psychotic ex from years ago, and within a week he had moved back to Toronto from Montreal to live with her. Woah nelly, a little fast do you think? “I’m not afraid to just jump in,” she would explain. Well, I hope she’s afraid now. It took about a week before she realized what a terrible idea it was and went crying to Scott.

Scott turned to me while I was sitting next to him on the couch one night while we were all hanging out at his place pretending to be friends, and told me that he was going to be with Ami now. Ami was in the other room, passed out from their mutual love of too much booze. I got to share the cab home with her. Less than a month later, they had moved out of their apartments and into a nifty little townhouse together. Woah nelly, a little fast do you think? And very expensive too, she admitted. They had decided that instead of spending money on going out, they would spend that money on their cute little home.

Well. Isn’t that darling? Just fucking precious.

Now here’s the thing about me. I’m very, VERY vindictive. But the details of how I plotted to overthrow her, my careful documentation of her every screw-up are not necessary here. Because another thing about me is this funny luck I have where things just work out.

This happened in late January, I would say. In early March, our division shut down. We were given 24 hours notice but assured that interviews had been arranged for each of us in other departments of the parent company. Talea was moved to the other side of the building and I missed her terribly all of five minutes away. I was kept in the same position at reception – seems they decided to give the little project one last go with new people. Scott quit in a big huff.

Ami was given a ‘no hire’ on her resume, and was very quickly out of work.

I went over to their new place one evening in some vague effort to patch things up back when I still thought that “that’s what you’re supposed to do.” Scott was snippy at her for not being able to find a new job yet, while he was at least looking. He was miserable, she was sick. She didn’t get that job at the vet’s office she had hoped for, since they chose someone with more education. She was considering getting a job as a cashier at a grocery store. They were broke, drunk, and a lot of tension was in the air. I left, knowing I would never be back. If nothing else, their place was damned inconvenient to get to.

But, as is often the case in Toronto (which means ‘meeting place’, by the way) I’ve seen her here and there in the subway system. I don’t know if that was her latest boyfriend she was walking beside, but it sure as hell wasn’t Scott. I saw her again a few weeks ago during rush hour, and Talea saw her just the other night. I don’t know if she is working, but if she is, it’s not in any kind of corporate environment.

Whatever she has tried to do, she has failed.

Me? I’m doing great. I have a great job (my clients can be difficult, but the job itself is sweet), I make decent money, I have good benefits, and I work with my best friend. My apartment is cute, cheap, and all mine. I have an amazing boyfriend who showers me with more love and affection from 800 miles away than any man has within the city limits, and yet still knows when to just let me be retarded. I love him dearly, and one day we will be together. One day we’ll even be married, with inevitable little hell-raisers nipping at my heels. But we’re not rushing into anything because frankly we are smarter than that.

We’re smarter than Ami. I’m smarter than Ami. Talea is smarter than Ami. Your left shoe is smarter than Ami.

Ami sucked.

And I won.

Holy Fuck It’s Hot

Dudes, I’m dying in here. My apartment is a SAUNA, and I chose today of all days to call Talea over to drink copious amounts of wine and turn the oven on all afternoon for a round of rock n’ roll baking. Super, I feel like I’m melting. There will be video footage of my bakeathon, but for now while the film is still on Talea’s camera so you’ll have to settle for a picture.

Yes, that is a rocking evil eye hand sign dealio for all those unfamiliar with Ozzy and everything else worth listening to. This pie spent nearly an hour in the oven while Talea and I melted on the couch, eating an entire tub of gelato to keep cool. And drank a ton of wine, thereby negating all cooling efforts.

Still, I did manage to accomplish the standard weekend chores of sweeping/mopping/dishes/clean cages for all four rabbits, three of which are excessively shedding rabbits/laundry/groceries/bills before noon, so I guess I can’t be too hard on myself for being exhausted.

I also managed to turn out some craftiness!

*not quite finished necklace

*not quite finished necklace

Okay that’s all for now folks, Josh is home and I need me some attention 😛

Egg Salad and Other News

Ahoy good people. I’ve been in a bit of a funk lately. It’s the sort of thing that happens when you’re crazy (if you didn’t catch that in the About section already, I’ve got one of those wonky brains that like to mess with my shit every once in a while) and it’s crazy exhausting. You see, I was watching my other boyfriend George Stroumboulopoulos of CBC’s The Hour (I don’t know, he opens every night with “I am your boyfriend George Stroumboulopoulos” so I just stopped arguing – and you really should check it out for a good dose of Canadian media) and he happened to stumble upon one of those horrific scientific discoveries that tells you exactly how the world is going to end. I know, I know, it’s retarded and billions of years anyways. But being reminded that everybody dies eventually is one of those things that makes my brain go GAAAAH!!!!!!!! Because I hate things that are beyond my control, and that’s the one damn thing that has no way around it.

So two days later I’ve still got the panic going on, and I’ve been having a hard time getting my ass in gear. I haven’t crafted anything, because there’s no point doing anything half assed, right? I’ve just been still puttering along on the lime green basketweave scarf.

I’m also in a funk cause work sucks and a good chunk of my clients are a pain in the ass. I’m also in a funk because yesterday was my six month anniversary with Josh, and he was out with friends. To be fair, he didn’t know it was a big deal to me. Hell, I didnt know it was a big deal to me. It’s not even a big deal. It’s just that Josh and I have both been really busy lately, so we’ve missed spending time together, and I had figured it would be a good night to stay in. But things came up at the last minute, and although he offered to stay in once he (once I, really) realized what was on my mind, I didn’t think it would be fair to have him break plans. Plus, it was friends he hasn’t seen in a while, not just his everyday chums that he can see any night of the week. So I gave the blessing to go have fun guilt-free and in exchange he’s set aside tonight for us and acknowledged that our one year anniversary is something to write on the calendar 😉 So I’m not mad at all, really. It’s more that I’m just bummed that I can’t go hang out with my boyfriend and share in his good times with friends. Reminds me that I’m stuck here with the quickly approaching winter.

I’m really trying to pull myself out of the blah’s because they’re just flat out bad for the mind and body. So in an effort to fight it, here’s a list of good things going on:

– I’ve invoiced Romi for the Firecracker scarf, so it seems business is off to a good start so far (*Knocks on wood…in fact, punches wood in the face. That’s much better!*)

– That assmuncher client who was here just for a few days using our boardroom ordered catering again yesterday. (Well, I’m the one who does the ordering, but you know what I mean. He paid for it. Or his bosses did. Or whatever. I don’t care. There was food.) Yes there were egg salad sandwiches, and yes they were on big floppy slices of white bread. Finally, jeez!

– I’ve been given the go-ahead at work to be a little more assertive (I know, right? Me? Not assertive enough?) Meaning that if a client complains about the lock on a boardroom door, I can tell them “Our boardrooms are used and billed by the hour. They need to be self-locking to prevent unauthorized usage. So no, we will not change that for you.” This goes for Talea as well, though her role at work is much more involved than mine. I’m sure this is more of a relief for her than me, but it still makes for a less shitty work environment.

– I was delivering mail to all the offices yesterday, and I had to fart really bad. So I walked into the empty office of a client I particularly dislike and just let ‘er rip. That cheap bastard picked the teeniest tiniest office on the floor. He’s almost never in, but when I delivered the mail today, yesterdays mail had been picked up. He was in there. Awesome.

– I still have an awesome boyfriend, so that pretty much rules

Oh. There we go.

Yeah, I’ve been writing this in spurts here and there throughout the day, and about an hour ago I just sort of snapped out of it. Good news, I’ll be back to my usual self tonight! I’ll be spending most of my time with Josh, but I should be able to swing a bit of craft tonight.

Stay tuned for your regularly scheduled awesomeness.

Everybody Love Ginny, or I’ll Kick Your Ass (In Some Non-Abusive Sort Of Way)

I just sold my first scarf! North Carolina, here I come! Eventually…

So the super rad Ginny from Praying to Darwin emailed me up to inquire about this scarf:

She loves it, and so lo and behold, I have my first sale! I’m pretty excited that Ginny gets my first scarf, ’cause it’s a pretty awesome scarf, and Ginny is pretty rad herself. Everyone go read her stuff, she’s hilarious. Soon, she will be hilarious, and also fabulously accessorized!

In other news, here’s what I’ve created today!

 

Them there’s mah bamboo curtains. Turns out they make for an excellent storage/display area. And how pretty and funky to have curtains full of pretty earrings! Don’t worry, they’ll be de-anti-septicized and all that germ free stuff before they get shipped out. (It’s actually kind of obsessive, cause I could totally clean myself into a coma if I didn’t specifically allocate my cleaning schedules, and I clean my floors/kitchen/bathroom with bleach. Yeah, I’ve got horrid cuticles cause I’m too lazy to put on gloves.)

Anyways, yeah, I think the earrings are pretty.

In other news, this super mega asshole at work who didn’t even return my ‘Good Morning!’ (extra cheery-like, as the fucker had shown up half an hour late and I’d had to show up early to accomodate his tardy ass), and then later made a phone call with his feet propped up on the credenza, and then snarked at Talea and then…well anyways, he had ordered catering (Oh shit, I totally forgot to order tomorrow’s catering. Oh well, I guess that’s what happens when you’re such an asshole.) This catering involved…yes, an egg salad sandwich. However, it was on pumpernickel bread, and my egg salad must be on pure (bleached….I know, I know) white wonderbread, so it was a total waste of the previous nights munchie fantasy fulfillment.

Asshole. Can’t even get a sandwich right.

Firecracker!

At least that’s what I call this little number. For any fellow Canucks out there, don’t be deceived by the fuzziness. It’s fuzzy, but it’s narrow, like the cool kids wear these days. Not the frigid kids. Frigid kids want that blue fuzzy thing I posted about recently. This is more for those nights when it’s cool enough that you can get away with wearing a rocking scarf as an accessory, but not yet cold enough that you end up getting frozen snot all over it.

On that pleasant note, what do you think?

If you want to be trendy AND warm, I could probably do up an extra thick and fuzzy one. Twice as much awesome!

Other fun facts:

– I’m watching Josh sleep right now, he’s extra cute.

– My office job is looking shittier and shittier. I want to sit indoors and make fun pretty things and talk to friends on the computer all day, cause I’m not a huge fan of ‘public.’ Does that make me a nerd?

– My evenings and ‘breaks’ revolve around two nightly episodes of the Simpsons.

– I’ve got a totally wicked craving for a fried egg right now. No, I’m not pregnant and craving weird shit. Got that 800 mile distance going on. I think it’s cause I saw a commercial for the Tim Horton’s BELT sandwhich (bacon, egg, lettuce, tomato for nonCanucks), and the egg part is the only thing that interests me. Oh, now I want egg salad. Oh! I will totally make a how-to video on egg salad (Have you tried relish? Have you?)

Stay tuned! Same bat night, same bat channel.

New Daily Challenge

Okay, so I’ve got my mitts in the knitty jar, and the decoupaging as of late. But if I’m running an online craft store, I’ve got to be able to fill the shelves, and frankly knitting takes a lot of time. I can knit on the subway, but when I’m at home, I like to keep my hands busy with super productivity. Lo and behold, I wander in to jewelery and find my niche.

The scarves will keep coming, cause I can’t arrange beads on the commute to work and I just seriously can’t stop buying yarn, but now you can expect all kinds of fun additions. Peep these, yo:

How fab! And raspberrykoala.com is coming along super well, so they’ll be available pretty soon. May is working as we speak! Paypal even sends out invoices for you. My super anal retentive side is looooving the free organization.

Anyways, the new goal is to make a pair a day and post a pic! Or maybe not a pair of earrings everyday, but maybe a bracelet here and there, or a pic of the decorative bowls i’m making or whatever I’m knitting that day. But daily progress! It’ll keep me motivated 😀

Somebody stop me!!! But no, not really.

Oh God, I just spent $300 on yarn and other crafty things. Why? Because I just remembered that my grandmother taught me how to mod podge and surely there are more fun things to make than plastic swans covered with ugly fabric. Decorative bowls anyone? Yes please! Also, the fuzzy green waffle pattern scarf seen in the last post will now be available in a deep orange (think ING direct without the accent) and a smokey grey. I am high on creativity! And cookies.

In other news, while I am still going to learn HTML, I have decided to get my nerdy friend May to build my website for me. I figured, since the applications to build a website cost a few hundred anyways, and this is what May does for a living, why don’t I just go pro? So she’s all on board, and I’m hoping that raspberrykoala.com will be up and running within a couple of weeks, but that all depends on a number of variables of course.

Wait, what, raspberrykoala? What the dealio?

Okay, so about two years ago I stumbled across a picture on the intermanets of a koala sticking out its tongue in raspberry fashion. And the name Raspberry Koala came into my head, and I immediately thought it would be a fab name for a line of handbags or something. Lo and behold! Here I am crafting things, and so Raspberry Koala will be my line. Go me!

Until the website is up, since I’m churning stuff out fairly quickly at this point, I might put a sale page on this here site so y’all can take a look at what I’ve made and let me know if you’re interested in anything.

Internet pimping!

*shakes booty*