That’s ENOUGH American Apparel

I get it.

Sex sells.

But frankly, I’m not buying. I’m good, thanks. And if I were buying, I wouldn’t be buying it in the form of body suits. And for that matter, since when does convincing me to buy body suits (proudly made in America for my pale Canadian ass), involve molesting my eyes with illicit advertisements while all I’m trying to do is get my morning joy from reading about other people’s hangovers via their Texts from Last Night???

Because the "I forgot my pants"-Tank was already trademarked...

When hanging out in Creepy Uncle Sven's 70's Basement, be sure to drape oneself along the stairs in a lace catsuit - it's the surest way to avoid molestation.

You couldn't just say 'thong' somewhere on the ad? No? You really had to demonstrate quite so visually?

So over I go to check out what else they’ve got floating around their website. Sure enough, they saved the tamer stuff for other peoples ad space. Their own turf is pretty much free game.

ps this is not clothes!

Hey boys and girls, did Mom put that annoying filter on your internet that doesn’t let you get the dirty sites? Well now you can get your jollies while under the convenient guise of shopping for lace bodysuits!

I have a crotch! Wheeeee!

Yep, that's pretty much just a vagina. Thanks for that.

"Can you unzip me" isn't as classy when the zip is on the front.

Seriously now! You can pretty much just print this out and have sex with it.

Ok, you know what? I'm going home now and putting on more clothes. After a shower.

Somebody stop me!!! But no, not really.

Oh God, I just spent $300 on yarn and other crafty things. Why? Because I just remembered that my grandmother taught me how to mod podge and surely there are more fun things to make than plastic swans covered with ugly fabric. Decorative bowls anyone? Yes please! Also, the fuzzy green waffle pattern scarf seen in the last post will now be available in a deep orange (think ING direct without the accent) and a smokey grey. I am high on creativity! And cookies.

In other news, while I am still going to learn HTML, I have decided to get my nerdy friend May to build my website for me. I figured, since the applications to build a website cost a few hundred anyways, and this is what May does for a living, why don’t I just go pro? So she’s all on board, and I’m hoping that raspberrykoala.com will be up and running within a couple of weeks, but that all depends on a number of variables of course.

Wait, what, raspberrykoala? What the dealio?

Okay, so about two years ago I stumbled across a picture on the intermanets of a koala sticking out its tongue in raspberry fashion. And the name Raspberry Koala came into my head, and I immediately thought it would be a fab name for a line of handbags or something. Lo and behold! Here I am crafting things, and so Raspberry Koala will be my line. Go me!

Until the website is up, since I’m churning stuff out fairly quickly at this point, I might put a sale page on this here site so y’all can take a look at what I’ve made and let me know if you’re interested in anything.

Internet pimping!

*shakes booty*