About Us

My name is Emerald. I’ll let Josh introduce himself later. We’re a pretty rocking couple despite the 800 miles between us. I figured we’d be so cute our friends and families would want to stab us with chopsticks or something, but so far everyone seems to agree with our rocking status. I wanted to document the next couple of months/years/??? while we figure out how to get our asses together amidst all the legal, financial, and border crossing drama that we’ve got ahead of us right now. And other fun stuff, like new projects I’m starting to make some extra money, my hate-on for Greyhound, and so on and so forth. This is me:

it was not my birthday...

it was not my birthday...

Here are some fun facts about me:

– I smoke a fuckton of weed.

– I have Borderline Personality Disorder. I know all women are crazy, but when I say I’m crazy, I mean it.

– I have a ridiculous memory for all things Family Guy/Simpsons

– I love beer. Also wine. Beer.

– I’m from a big bad city. It’s beautiful, cultured, convenient and awesome, and I love it.

– I’m vegetarian. Without being an asshole about it.

– I’m so left wing it’s not even funny. But I can appreciate what our right wing government has done for our rockin’ Canadian economy lately, so I’m not an asshole about that either.

– I like Motley Crue. Shut your face, I also like 1920’s jazz and just about everything else.

Hello internet denizens. My name is Josh, and as you can see I bring most of the class and looks to the relationship. And by class, I mean gigantic eyebrows and body odor. I guess I’ll be representing the dudes here on this blog. We’ve got some serious shit to go through before we can be together, and it’s gonna be long and no doubt crazy. So are you ready for my powerpoint self representation and general life summary? Let’s kick this pig.

– I am a blue collar man from North Carolina. I fix trailers. I realize this sounds a bit cliche, but I like it.

– I do not smoke a fuckton of weed, but I do smoke a little bit, and make up the rest in booze. I am also trying to cut back on all that boozery, for my combined heath and legal benefit. I do however strongly disagree with the war on drugs and I really enjoy recreational use of all sorts of shit from time to time. I would say hallucinogenics are my favorite, besides beer.

– I come from the suburbs of dixie land, and I am in no way, shape, or form a big city guy. Yet. I love the south, everything about it, (minus the heat) but I plan on moving to Toronto to be with Emerald, so one day my little country ass might be living in a big city.

– I love meat, and immediately upon finding out Em was a vegetarian informed her that no woman would ever come between me and my tasty, tasty dead animals. Steak, porkchops, ribs, burgers, hotdogs, bbq, I love it all, and I love it with every meal. In fact, I really just love food in general, and I really like cooking, so I’m sure we can work out a way to make his and hers meals with that delicious, bloody murder on my plate and plenty of leaves and sprigs and such on hers.

– I would say I swing pretty hard to the right on a lot of issues, but definitely don’t have a party affiliation. Honestly, I think both parties suck and have just about everything wrong, and should be executed and our government rebuilt from the ground up with about one percent of the laws actually reestablished. Unfortunately the government foresaw my plans and made mass murder illegal. Whatever.

– Music wise I am all over the place. Everything from Hank Williams Jr. to System of a Down. I would say Sublime is my personal favorite band. But I pretty much like anything if it doesn’t suck. (that means you U2)

– I have a thing for zombies. I fucking love them. Well not so much actual zombies as the zombie movies, but you get what I’m saying. They are the coolest of all horror movie monsters.

– I am not cool. I do dorky shit, and I am not trying to make friends. I’m poor, I ride a scooter, I’ve got zits, I’ve been locked up more than I wish, I’m pretty much white trash. People who really want to be cool annoy me. Except for emo kids who really want to be cool in a hilarious way.

– I have a very dark sense of humor. Is wife beating funny? Yes it is. How about killing puppies? Also funny. If it’s dark and possibly disturbing, I laugh. If you can fit porn in there somehow I laugh even harder. Nothing in this life is as funny as watching someone fairly square when it comes to sex watch 2 girls 1 cup for the first time. Hilarious.

Advertisements

16 Comments

  1. 800josh said,

    July 21, 2008 at 12:11 am

    Dang yo, that guy is hot as shit!

  2. Emerald said,

    July 21, 2008 at 12:14 am

    Damn you beat me to the first comment slot! Seriously, I read some of this stuff and think “how did we end up together again?” but then I remember that we’re still somehow perfect – like the fact that I’ll cook meat for you and you tolerate my tofu which I’m EATING RIGHT NOW! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    P.S. Does racing to be the first to comment on our own blog make us losers?

  3. Josh said,

    July 21, 2008 at 3:11 am

    Yes, it does.

  4. romi41 said,

    July 25, 2008 at 2:39 am

    hahahahahhaa…..nooooooooooooo you are NOT losers! You are the envy and inspiration behind my hopes and dreams! (or something way less specific and way more generalized that doesn’t refer to any one thing in particular…ahem)

    🙂

  5. queenbitch said,

    July 29, 2008 at 7:19 am

    Aww you guys! you’re so cute! I can say that here right? without worrying that Em is going to punch me???

    I cant wait to read more.

  6. Emerald said,

    July 29, 2008 at 1:57 pm

    haha, thanks romi, and queenie. and no i won’t punch anyone for saying i’m cute 😛

  7. July 30, 2008 at 1:03 am

    This is a damn fine about page, but I really enjoyed the interviews too. I like how both of your pics have the pointing finger theme going on, even if Josh’s finger is a bit misguided. 😛

  8. Emerald said,

    July 30, 2008 at 1:52 am

    woah snap, i didn’t even notice that! awesome! see, this is how our brains work as a team without us even knowing it.

  9. joanharvest said,

    August 16, 2008 at 3:52 pm

    Oh, you guys are too funny. I’m gonna like this place. The funniest part is finding two of my favorite bloggers here, Sweet Romi and The Wonderful Peter Parkour. I wonder who else I will find. I will be back!!

  10. Emerald said,

    August 18, 2008 at 5:27 am

    yaaaaay! I heart you joan, i was so hoping you’d stop over for a visit!

  11. cowgalutah said,

    September 12, 2008 at 3:11 am

    Oh…I love it here already…I can hear the sappy love music in the background and everything…oh wait that’s just the 10 o’clock news comming on in the other room.

  12. dobeman said,

    September 14, 2008 at 10:47 am

    Quite possibly the most honest appraisal of a person’s (or two peoples’) personality that I’ve ever read. Bravo for bravado!
    “Fuckton” is a new word? If so, can I use it at work:

    “The blah, blah, blah, Intrusion Prevention System stops a fuckton of network threats…”

    That would rock!

  13. nahole said,

    October 8, 2008 at 4:52 pm

    Hey just came across the new fucking site. Nice. Great shit all around.

  14. Lucky said,

    October 16, 2008 at 3:05 am

    Greatness. I love it!

  15. March 31, 2009 at 12:01 pm

    I love your site. Keep it up !

  16. May 31, 2009 at 11:43 am

    Wow can we say opposites attract here or what?! I love it. I have a lot of reading to catch up on….


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: