Ugh. Thanksgiving.

Okay, so for those of you south of the ol’ US – Canada border, we Canucks celebrate our Thanksgiving in October, not November. Reason being is that it’s very clearly based around the harvest, and ours comes much earlier than our southern neighbours. It’s cold up here, you know.

Here’s the thing – I don’t like Thanksgiving. Sure, I have plenty to be thankful for, and at least once a day I stop and think for a few minutes about how lucky I am to have a job, (I job I actually really like! Even though I’m still surrounded by morons…) some great friends, an AMAZING boyfriend, and yes even a relatively non-dysfunctional family. In fact, I’m probably the most dysfunctional one in the family. So yes, I have much to be thankful for.

I’m plenty grateful. I just don’t see why I have to express this gratitude by spending four days with my family, in a car, driving to a different province, to be poked and prodded and heaped under miles of awkward silences and forced conversation.

https://i0.wp.com/www.hypeful.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/thanksgiving.jpg

I don’t even like phone calls, or spending more than an hour or two with my family. What the hell made anyone think I would enjoy a family car trip? Did I mention I’m vegetarian?

Well there’s my grandmother, first and foremost. She’s overall an incredible woman, and very awesome. If you cross her, she will crucify you and everyone you love. She’s fought a hard life and I would say she won. You couldn’t even guess her age, she looks that great. She is, however, very draining at times. You don’t get an invitation to these family events, you get an informational phone call telling you what time you’re expected.

There’s my grandfather too. He has Parkinson’s and is getting more frail and confused, which I’m sure is going to be upsetting because he really is quite wonderful, and when the time comes I will miss him terribly. But the way I try to look at it, in his mind it’s 1947 again and I’m sure by the end he’s going to be back in a very happy place. He turns to my grandmother once in a while and says “You know, I married the most beautiful woman in the world. You would have just loved her.” She doesn’t bother to correct him, but instead laughs and takes the compliment he doesn’t know he’s giving her (which is the most sincere way, I guess.)

My grandparents are awesome, I’m glad to be seeing them.

As for the rest of my family. Well, of course I love them too. I just don’t like spending a lot of time with others in my immediate vicinity. And with the family, of course, you have to suck it up and put up with all those little annoyances, those little annoyances that would be my swift exit from any other such situation. You can’t say “Wow, and you manage to tie your shoes?” or “Hey, can we not discuss my finances?” at the dinner table – at least not without hearing about it for the next six months. There is an increased level of inhibition, and I hate the shit out of it. I hate pretending to care about other people’s day, I hate pretending to listen, I hate pretending like I have anything to talk about, I hate pretending that I wouldn’t rather be at home on my couch with my boyfriend, my weed, my bunnies, and a family that loves me from the other side of the city. https://i0.wp.com/www.pastdeadline.com/images/sesame_street_thanksgiving.jpgWhen did ‘giving thanks’ turn into flooding the stores for the biggest pre-stuffed bird, jamming up the highways trying to get somewhere that will still be there next weekend, and exhausting ourselves putting on game faces? Ugh. Maybe it’s just me – it usually is.

When Josh and I are together, I’m all about spending Thanksgiving making out in the kitchen amongst food that may or may not get finished.

I’ll stop complaining now, before I bring some instant-karma whoop-ass on myself. I’m just saying that I’ll be giving my thanks when I arrive safely back home.

And really, does ANYONE like the idea of spending four days in close quarters with immediate family? Yeeeesh.

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15 Comments

  1. JavaQueen said,

    October 10, 2008 at 7:21 am

    EMERALD, I hear ya. Your family does sound funny though, very forceful and not apologetic about it- ha! ha! You poor dear. Ya just have to grin and bear it.

    I don’t like Thanksgiving or Christmas *GASP!* – I wish it were just more simple, it is all too commercialized and I think that’s crap. I actually hate it, but having 3 kids- I also have to grin and bear it 😦

    This time of year stresses me out. Try to have some fun with it! Happy Thanksgiving to ya anywho! Just had to say it 🙂

  2. Billy said,

    October 10, 2008 at 10:53 pm

    I drink straight through family engagements. In the airport, on the plane, possibly in the airport again, in the kitchen, den, basement, neighborhood bar, in the living room, at the Thanksgiving table, back in the airport again, on the plane and safe at home, I’ll be on the wagon.
    It works.

  3. Ginny said,

    October 11, 2008 at 1:47 am

    Gonna go with Billy on this one; drink early, drink often. If it makes it any better for you, know that wherever I am, I being unhappy at the exact same time as you.

  4. Jess said,

    October 11, 2008 at 4:07 am

    Ugh, you read my mind. I now have in laws that I can barely handle for 5 min. Used to take xanax and percocet with a couple o glasses of red to balance it out to deal with the pain. Now I have a one year old (and those vices dont go well with breastfeeding) so by the time dinner is over, I have no fingernails left, hives, and the car ride home is my husbands worst nightmare. I will be thinking of you and will be waiting to hear all about it!

  5. romi41 said,

    October 12, 2008 at 6:42 pm

    hmm…okay now it’s Sunday afternoon….I hope you’re coping okay and haven’t tried to launch yourself off the roof yet 😉

  6. Pure Evyl said,

    October 12, 2008 at 6:49 pm

    I like Thanksgiving but then I enjoy watching family members that hate each other attempting to be nice to one another. It makes for great entertainment.

  7. kaylee2 said,

    October 13, 2008 at 7:08 am

    I hate thanksgiving too but, this year will be peaceful! As its just me and my grandparents, and my stepmom and her children! Happy thanksgiving! THE BITCH WONT BE ALLOWED TO ATTEND! Yes, that bitch would be my mother. I aint letting someone that ha abused me for 15 years into my holiday dinner! Happy thanksgiving

  8. kaylee2 said,

    October 13, 2008 at 7:09 am

    has abused me sorry!

  9. CuriousC said,

    October 14, 2008 at 9:55 am

    So, is it over? Did you survive? Happy Thanksgiving Every Day!

  10. Emerald said,

    October 14, 2008 at 2:13 pm

    @ JavaQueen: Haha, I can bear it, but I won’t grin about it. I’ve already told the family that I will not be attending the Christmas festivities because seriously, I’m a grown up and can decide where I’m going to spend the holidays. When kids come along, I’ll have to get back into the grind, so between then and now I’d like a little peace and quiet 😉

    @ Billy: Oh, drink I did! Not too much, because then I start to open my mouth, but when everyone was ordering water at dinner I was ordering wine, yes please, wine, glass right here, more wine please yes?

    @ Jess: I made a serious mistake not getting some Ativan, but normally I just smoke a little weed and calm right down – much less chemically and side-effecty. But not with the family around so I had to resort to my iPod and scowling. It actually worked fairly well.

    @ Romi: Oh, the stories I have to tell!

    @ PureEvyl: Everybody loves me, I just wish they wouldn’t talk so much 😉

    @ Kaylee: I don’t know what it is about the holidays that brings out the worst in families, but I hope yours goes alright! Your mom sounds like she sucks, I know a few sucky moms (but not mine, thankfully) – bad karma to all!

    @ CuriousC: I did survive! I am here! But I don’t think I’ll be doing that again any time soon. If I didn’t miss my grandparents, who only recently moved out of the province, I probably wouldn’t have gone at all.

  11. Lucky said,

    October 15, 2008 at 9:12 pm

    A couple of years ago, I went to Colorado for Thanksgiving to visit family. The car ride with the parents took 14 hours ONE WAY. They live in cabin WAY up in the mountains. I was so effin’ ready to get home. That is way too much family together time crammed into 4 days. I feel your pain.

  12. October 21, 2008 at 6:26 am

    It can go either way with my family. Bliss one moment, hell the next. Moderation and a well planned escape route is the key. 😉

  13. Emerald said,

    October 21, 2008 at 2:05 pm

    @ Lucky: Woah nelly, I would never have agreed to a 14 hour car trip. You’re far more brave than I. Not no way, not no how.

    @ Peter: I know, I’m all about the well planned escape route. That’s kind of hard to swing when you’re nine hours into another province though (and I don’t drive…for many, many, very good reasons) so I was extra freaking. No way out! To be fair, it could have been far worse than it turned out.

  14. Josh said,

    October 21, 2008 at 5:27 pm

    Dude, I bet your family is fun on road trips. Kathleen and (the other) Talea seemed like fun at least. And your dad seems fun. I could so go on a trip with them. I don’t know why you’re such a grumpy bastard. 😉 (just kidding baby, I love you and your grumpy ass)

  15. Emerald said,

    October 21, 2008 at 7:57 pm

    All I wanted was a latte! 😦


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