Meme Me Up, Scotty!

Okay, okay, I couldn’t help myself. I got sucked into a meme that I found on JavaQueen’s place, mostly just cause I like the first question. So you can play along if you’d like, or just enjoy 😉

What side of a heart do you draw first?

The right side. And my left is always lopsided 😦

Can you dive without plugging your nose?

Yes I can, though you will never catch me at a public pool because I don’t like swimsuits or at least not in public. I also have a horrific fear of open water (a lot of it has to do with the fact that I can’t wear my glasses when I’m swimming, and I’m so blind without them that I feel vulnerable – if I wake up in the middle of the night, I need my glasses to hear)

What color is your phone?

I have two phones. One is black and silver with an orange screen. My cell phone is silver. I also have a pink phone in my drawer, but it’s shitty and not cordless. I’d say my next cell phone will be pink or green or something else snazzy, but it probably won’t be because I think spending a lot of money on a fashionable cell phone is retarded.

Who would you want to be tied to for 24 hours?

Surprisingly, not Talea, even though she’s my best friend. That would probably make us both very squirmy and uncomfortable, like the time I told Josh Talea and I were wearing the same shirt. I meant identical shirts, but he though we were both crammed into one sweater in some vague male fantasy. I could stay tied to Josh for 24 hours because it would go very quickly – sex, nap, food, sex, nap, shower, sex, sleep, oh hey you wanna stay tied together today too?

Where are you right now?

Relieving my receptionist for her cigarette break. Why don’t I get a cigarette break? Just because I don’t smoke means I don’t get breaks? I want to say I’m going on a smoke break and just stand outside for ten minutes, crossing my arms and lounging while everyone stares at me confused.

* actually, by the time I hit ‘publish’ I’m now sitting here nursing a wicked hangover.

How do you feel about carrots?

Good snack food, and I can share with my rabbits. I don’t mean ‘take a bite of carrot, give rabbit a bite of carrot, take a bite of carrot.’ That’s gross. I just like to eat a bowl of mini carrots with one of my rabbits next to me and let them have one here and there. Sometimes they’ll eat them, sometimes they’ll be hideously offended that I would even suggest they might like one and throw it back at me.

How many chairs at the dining room table?

Me? Dining room table? Mahahahahahahaha!!!! Have you SEEN my kitchen? It’s a walk in closet in front of my couch.

Who is the best Spice Girl?

Uhhh, the slutty one.

Do you know what time it is?

10:13 am. Of course I know what time it is, I’m writing this on a computer which always has the time.

What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator?

Nap. If I woke up and I was still stuck, I’d start crying probably.

What’s your favorite kind of gum?

I don’t like any sort of minty crap, I like fruity stuff. But gum is one of those things where I’ll swipe a pack from work now and then or ask Talea to give me a stick of whatever she’s got (which is usually watermelon or otherwise fruity, she’s got good taste – and I usually pay her back in baked goods). I never really buy gum because I always think “But why? It’s useless. I mean, ice cream doesn’t serve much of a purpose, but at least you get to eat it.” Gum is a waste of money in my mind. Of course, that may have to do with working in a bubblegum factory all those years ago. I still can’t bring myself to pay for something that I feel I should be able to just pick up and put in my pocket.

T or F: All is fair in love and war?

Well, you have to define those words clearly. All is not fair in relationships – I can’t take a bad day out on Josh because that’s not fair, even though he loves me and could probably take it in stride. And no, you can’t pull unfair shit in a war, because eventually (*cough*America*cough*) someone is going to turn around and kick you in the teeth. Though I guess that’s a very special sort of fair…

As for *getting* love, yeah, all’s fair. I don’t know if it would have mattered to me if Josh had been with another girl when I up and decided I wanted him for my own. I’m pretty determined sometimes 😉 And of course when it comes to protecting those you love, things that would normally be considered assault are probably pretty fair.

Do you use words that you don’t know the meaning to?

I try very hard not too. Especially if I’m going to be giving someone shit for something, cause that’s the worst time to make an ass of yourself. My mother once stated very sternly that she had ‘no toleration for this kind of behaviour.’ Right. That’s a good way to discipline and smart 15 year old…

Do you like to sleep?

I do love sleeping, and get nowhere near enough. I find napping isn’t often a good idea though, I usually end up waking up sickish and groggy.

Do you know which US states don’t use Daylight Savings?

I don’t know about states. But I know Saskatchewan doesn’t. Pfffft. Saskatchewan.

Do you know the song Sugar We’re Goin‘ Down?

No.

Do you want a bright yellow ‘06 mustang?

Um, no? I wouldn’t mind a Dodge Ram V8 Sport, and my dad just bought a sweet new Malibu.

What’s something you’ve always wanted?

Have you ever seen Iron Man? No, I don’t want Robert Downey Jr. in excessive make-up. Well, maybe just for a while. What I really want is Jarvis, the computer that runs the house and knows what I’m talking about when I say “That…thing, that fiddly thing, bring it over here.” Having a physical extension of my brain without the limitations of the human body would be friggin RAD, and I wouldn’t have to keep pads of paper around for all my thought processes.

Do you wear a lot of black?

Yes. It’s slimming, fashionable, matches with everything and works well in the corporate environment. I’m not so sure you can get to that snazzy CEO position in a floral print…

Describe your hair

Grows FAST! Just over a year ago it was Orphan-Annie short and curly, and now it’s past my shoulders. It’s curly and can either look clipped up and classy or circa 1987 gnarly, depending on the day.

Are you an adult?

Let’s see, I bitch about my commute, my bills, my clients, my life (even though for the most part my life is pretty damn sweet) and I’ve got a desperate need for a hazlenut coffee with two cream and one sweetener every weekday morning. I’m worried about mutual funds. Yes, I am an adult and I don’t know when the fuck that happened.

Who is your best friend?

Talea, closely followed by May, and of course Josh is pretty rad too, and we were friends before we were all in love and junk, so he counts too.

Do you have a tan?

Not particularly, though when I do tan I keep it for a long ass time. I just don’t go outside often enough. I spend about five minutes outside in the morning and evening gettting on and off the streetcar, but from the streetcar to work it’s all underground. And when I’m at home I’m in front of the computer on website/blogging business or knitting.

Are you a television addict?

Nah. I generally know what show is on what channel at what time (which is easy when you only have about five channels – yeah, clearly not addicted) but I’ll say “I have to watch the Simpsons at 7:30!!!” but then when it comes on, I’m always doing something else like cooking or knitting or cleaning.

Do you enjoy spending time with your mom?

In very small doses, yes. She’s adorable, but frazzled and listening to her stress out stresses me out.

Are you a sugar freak?

YES PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!
What is your favorite movie?
I have no idea, but lately I am so all about Iron Man.

What’s your sign?

Saggitarius, but on the cusp of Scorpio. I’m stubborn AND demanding – awesome.

Where do you wish you were right now?

Frankly, I wish I were in North Carolina getting laid and not having to worry about the effects of the upcoming winter on my poor brain.

Who did you copy this from?

JavaQueen! 😀

How do you know them?

The blogworld.

Would you have sex with them?

Ummmm, no?

What brand of shirt are you wearing?

H&M. Pretty much everything I own is from H&M, because it’s the Ikea of clothing. Cheap, fantastic, but unlike Ikea, it’s conveniently located at the mall, and right by the subway entrance too, which means I don’t have to wander into the idiot-packed mall itself.

Have you ever smoked anything?

Hi, have we met? The only time I’m NOT smoking weed is when I’m at work. Need to be on my A-game when people start bitching about phones, internet, mysterious charges that they don’t agree to despite the signature on their lease, blah blah blah blah blah. I don’t think laughing at them and/or trying to explain global economics would be much appreciated…

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14 Comments

  1. Pure Evyl said,

    October 4, 2008 at 5:23 pm

    I always imagined that all the Spice Girls were slutty. Go figger.

  2. October 4, 2008 at 6:28 pm

    Iron Man rocks. I used to work at a job I wasn’t too fond of, and when my boss would go on a smoke break, I’d go on a fresh air break. That really used to piss him off. 😛

  3. Pearly said,

    October 5, 2008 at 9:37 am

    Thank you for entertaining me late at night. Finally, sleep is setting in. I took a pudding break the other night. When they asked how long I was going to be, I said about as long as it takes to smoke a cigarette.

  4. teeni said,

    October 6, 2008 at 12:43 am

    These are a hoot to read. I’m jealous of your curly hair! I still have to see Iron Man. I live in the states and I have no clue which all use Daylight Savings either except the one I’m in. 😉

  5. romi41 said,

    October 6, 2008 at 4:03 am

    hahaha..I love Iron Man too! And I totally have a crush on his super-smart-computer-dude-house-runner-thingy, and it doesn’t hurt that the computer has an English accent, haha 😉

    PS: ya, your hair got long, I noticed that when I saw you! Looks hot by the way 😉

  6. CuriousC said,

    October 6, 2008 at 11:07 am

    funny. and H&M is not like Ikea in that you don’t have to come home and SEW that shirt together! I call Ikea the fun puzzle store. My hub hates the place.

    and this comment cracks me up: “I’m not so sure you can get to that snazzy CEO position in a floral print…”

  7. cowgalutah said,

    October 7, 2008 at 4:17 am

    I just swiped this from Java also, but I haven’t got mine done.
    Great answers though…but I’m a litttle confused about the needing galsses to hear. I’m quite deaf, I think maybe I should get my eyes checked…ya never know.

  8. Billy said,

    October 7, 2008 at 7:23 pm

    I love the question, “how do you feel about carrots”. That’s my new icebreaker.

  9. JavaQueen said,

    October 8, 2008 at 8:48 am

    Your answers are so, so, so funny. and “Billy” who says his new icebreaker is going to be “how do you feel about carrots” well, that sense of humor is nutty and I LOVE THAT. America 😦 The whole state of affairs makes me so sad, and more sad that the world views us all as hateful war-mongers couldn’t be further from the truth. Even after watching the debates tonight, I just felt filled with anxiety. And, most would disagree with the following statement that I am more worried about out security than our financial situation. Why? Just because so many other countries view us so badly. But, have you ever felt like you had no control? or, no say in what happens? That’s how I feel. I will vote, sadly – but I’m so filled with anxiety I don’t even think I could watch another debate. Sorry, but I just had to tell you how I feel.
    And what’s this about you not wanting to have sex with me? Ha! Ha! Ha! Anyway, great answers Talea, just love ya!

  10. Talea said,

    October 9, 2008 at 12:01 am

    Haha, JavaQueen confused us. It was bound to happen, as we are essentially one in the same.

  11. JavaQueen said,

    October 9, 2008 at 4:49 am

    SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! I sorry 😳 You are both wondermous! I heart you both. I could never confuse you two. However, I do work nights and get tired there at the end… that’s my excuse and I’m soooooooo sticking to it baby!

  12. Emerald said,

    October 9, 2008 at 2:14 pm

    @ PureEvyl: Haha, okay they’re all slutty, but one of them was extra slutty. I think it was like her schtick or something.

    @ Peter Parkour: Iron Man certainly does rock! My boss now refers to me as Iron Man because I told him one of our corporate big-wigs looks like him (He totally does, and he’s awesome too.) The fresh air break is a great idea, I’m so all about it.

    @ Pearly: Oh, a pudding break! I love pudding. Talea and I took a strawberries and english muffin break this morning, it was pretty fantastic. Sure there was work I could be doing, but one has to properly energize for the day, right? 😉

    @ Teeni: I get a lot of jealousy over the curls and much cooing from the stylists. It is a major pain in the ass, however 😦 I go and get a cute haircut, and within two weeks its grown out into a triangle. Also, go see Iron Man! Yes, it’s okay to love Robert Downey Jr., he’s sober again.

    @ Romi: I know, right? I so want a Jarvis. But I’d probably call it “Jeeves.” 😛

    @ Curious C: That is true, no sewing is involved! But I do often have to get things tailored, all pants come miles too long on me, and I usually have to get the waist taken in, because I have curvy hips but my waist still goes inwards, not outwards. So it’s like I’m buying ‘parts’ but H&M is the closest so far (without being ridiculously overpriced that is…)

    @ Cowgal: Ha, yeah that is a good point! Maybe glasses would improve your hearing. I guess it’s just that not having my glasses contributes to the overall fuzzy confusion, you know?

    @ Billy: I did a dating quiz once, and I chose “So how do you feel about peanuts?” as a good ice breaker (because it totally is, I mean shit, it’s not like I care about other people’s careers and junk, I need the important info!) and the dating test called me a “Willy Wonka” type dater who is best suited to squirrels…but I love squirrels.

    @ JavaQueen & Talea: Hahahaha, I saw that coming, I was just sitting back patiently and waiting. It’s all good!

  13. Allie said,

    October 9, 2008 at 3:48 pm

    I also have curly hair and do end up with the triangle as well… one hairstylist I went to see told me that a subtle side part will help with that. I however can’t be bothered in the morning to do that but yeah, just a friendly tip from one curly haired chick to another. And now my second tip, don’t you feel lucky?, I too have that same problem with being curvy and clothes fitting right and all that jazz but I have a few words that might change your life (heh I’m full of it today, don’t mind me!): Lane Bryant Right Fit Jeans BLUE. They nip in at the waist and fit everywhere, they are pretty awesome and a good confidence booster to boot. I think that you can order jeans on the Lane Bryant website and have then shipped to Canada. The sizing on those jeans are weird though, I wear a size 2 in the Right Fit styles.. and I can honestly say that I have never worn a size 2 in my life so again, confidence booster! I’m rambling so I’ll stop now.

  14. Emerald said,

    October 9, 2008 at 10:28 pm

    @ Allie: Oh snap, I am so all over a size 2 pair of pants, ha! That’s a first for me! And as for the hair, I’m usually pretty good at getting a flattering cut, it just grows out so quickly. My technique is to walk into the loudest, hippest place and find the most outrageously flaming character I can, sit in their chair and say “Not too short. Go.”


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