Meme Me Up, Scotty!

Can you dive without plugging your nose?

Yes I can, though you will never catch me at a public pool because I don’t like swimsuits or at least not in public. I also have a horrific fear of open water (a lot of it has to do with the fact that I can’t wear my glasses when I’m swimming, and I’m so blind without them that I feel vulnerable – if I wake up in the middle of the night, I need my glasses to hear)

What color is your phone?

I have two phones. One is black and silver with an orange screen. My cell phone is silver. I also have a pink phone in my drawer, but it’s shitty and not cordless. I’d say my next cell phone will be pink or green or something else snazzy, but it probably won’t be because I think spending a lot of money on a fashionable cell phone is retarded.

Who would you want to be tied to for 24 hours?

Surprisingly, not Talea, even though she’s my best friend. That would probably make us both very squirmy and uncomfortable, like the time I told Josh Talea and I were wearing the same shirt. I meant identical shirts, but he though we were both crammed into one sweater in some vague male fantasy. I could stay tied to Josh for 24 hours because it would go very quickly – sex, nap, food, sex, nap, shower, sex, sleep, oh hey you wanna stay tied together today too?

Where are you right now?

Relieving my receptionist for her cigarette break. Why don’t I get a cigarette break? Just because I don’t smoke means I don’t get breaks? I want to say I’m going on a smoke break and just stand outside for ten minutes, crossing my arms and lounging while everyone stares at me confused.

* actually, by the time I hit ‘publish’ I’m now sitting here nursing a wicked hangover.

How do you feel about carrots?

Good snack food, and I can share with my rabbits. I don’t mean ‘take a bite of carrot, give rabbit a bite of carrot, take a bite of carrot.’ That’s gross. I just like to eat a bowl of mini carrots with one of my rabbits next to me and let them have one here and there. Sometimes they’ll eat them, sometimes they’ll be hideously offended that I would even suggest they might like one and throw it back at me.

How many chairs at the dining room table?

Me? Dining room table? Mahahahahahahaha!!!! Have you SEEN my kitchen? It’s a walk in closet in front of my couch.

Who is the best Spice Girl?

Uhhh, the slutty one.

Do you know what time it is?

10:13 am. Of course I know what time it is, I’m writing this on a computer which always has the time.

What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator?

Nap. If I woke up and I was still stuck, I’d start crying probably.

What’s your favorite kind of gum?

I don’t like any sort of minty crap, I like fruity stuff. But gum is one of those things where I’ll swipe a pack from work now and then or ask Talea to give me a stick of whatever she’s got (which is usually watermelon or otherwise fruity, she’s got good taste – and I usually pay her back in baked goods). I never really buy gum because I always think “But why? It’s useless. I mean, ice cream doesn’t serve much of a purpose, but at least you get to eat it.” Gum is a waste of money in my mind. Of course, that may have to do with working in a bubblegum factory all those years ago. I still can’t bring myself to pay for something that I feel I should be able to just pick up and put in my pocket.

T or F: All is fair in love and war?

Well, you have to define those words clearly. All is not fair in relationships – I can’t take a bad day out on Josh because that’s not fair, even though he loves me and could probably take it in stride. And no, you can’t pull unfair shit in a war, because eventually (*cough*America*cough*) someone is going to turn around and kick you in the teeth. Though I guess that’s a very special sort of fair…

As for *getting* love, yeah, all’s fair. I don’t know if it would have mattered to me if Josh had been with another girl when I up and decided I wanted him for my own. I’m pretty determined sometimes 😉 And of course when it comes to protecting those you love, things that would normally be considered assault are probably pretty fair.

Do you use words that you don’t know the meaning to?

I try very hard not too. Especially if I’m going to be giving someone shit for something, cause that’s the worst time to make an ass of yourself. My mother once stated very sternly that she had ‘no toleration for this kind of behaviour.’ Right. That’s a good way to discipline and smart 15 year old…

Do you like to sleep?

I do love sleeping, and get nowhere near enough. I find napping isn’t often a good idea though, I usually end up waking up sickish and groggy.

Do you know which US states don’t use Daylight Savings?

I don’t know about states. But I know Saskatchewan doesn’t. Pfffft. Saskatchewan.

Do you know the song Sugar We’re Goin‘ Down?

No.

Do you want a bright yellow ‘06 mustang?

Um, no? I wouldn’t mind a Dodge Ram V8 Sport, and my dad just bought a sweet new Malibu.

What’s something you’ve always wanted?

Have you ever seen Iron Man? No, I don’t want Robert Downey Jr. in excessive make-up. Well, maybe just for a while. What I really want is Jarvis, the computer that runs the house and knows what I’m talking about when I say “That…thing, that fiddly thing, bring it over here.” Having a physical extension of my brain without the limitations of the human body would be friggin RAD, and I wouldn’t have to keep pads of paper around for all my thought processes.

Do you wear a lot of black?

Yes. It’s slimming, fashionable, matches with everything and works well in the corporate environment. I’m not so sure you can get to that snazzy CEO position in a floral print…

Describe your hair

Grows FAST! Just over a year ago it was Orphan-Annie short and curly, and now it’s past my shoulders. It’s curly and can either look clipped up and classy or circa 1987 gnarly, depending on the day.

Are you an adult?

Let’s see, I bitch about my commute, my bills, my clients, my life (even though for the most part my life is pretty damn sweet) and I’ve got a desperate need for a hazlenut coffee with two cream and one sweetener every weekday morning. I’m worried about mutual funds. Yes, I am an adult and I don’t know when the fuck that happened.

Who is your best friend?

Talea, closely followed by May, and of course Josh is pretty rad too, and we were friends before we were all in love and junk, so he counts too.

Do you have a tan?

Not particularly, though when I do tan I keep it for a long ass time. I just don’t go outside often enough. I spend about five minutes outside in the morning and evening gettting on and off the streetcar, but from the streetcar to work it’s all underground. And when I’m at home I’m in front of the computer on website/blogging business or knitting.

Are you a television addict?

Nah. I generally know what show is on what channel at what time (which is easy when you only have about five channels – yeah, clearly not addicted) but I’ll say “I have to watch the Simpsons at 7:30!!!” but then when it comes on, I’m always doing something else like cooking or knitting or cleaning.

Do you enjoy spending time with your mom?

In very small doses, yes. She’s adorable, but frazzled and listening to her stress out stresses me out.

Are you a sugar freak?

YES PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!

What is your favorite movie?

I have no idea, but lately I am so all about Iron Man.

What’s your sign?

Saggitarius, but on the cusp of Scorpio. I’m stubborn AND demanding – awesome.

Where do you wish you were right now?

Frankly, I wish I were in North Carolina getting laid and not having to worry about the effects of the upcoming winter on my poor brain.

Who did you copy this from?

JavaQueen! 😀

How do you know them?

The blogworld.

Would you have sex with them?

Ummmm, no?

What brand of shirt are you wearing?

H&M. Pretty much everything I own is from H&M, because it’s the Ikea of clothing. Cheap, fantastic, but unlike Ikea, it’s conveniently located at the mall, and right by the subway entrance too, which means I don’t have to wander into the idiot-packed mall itself.

Have you ever smoked anything?

Hi, have we met? The only time I’m NOT smoking weed is when I’m at work. Need to be on my A-game when people start bitching about phones, internet, mysterious charges that they don’t agree to despite the signature on their lease, blah blah blah blah blah. I don’t think laughing at them and/or trying to explain global economics would be much appreciated…