Egg Salad and Other News

Ahoy good people. I’ve been in a bit of a funk lately. It’s the sort of thing that happens when you’re crazy (if you didn’t catch that in the About section already, I’ve got one of those wonky brains that like to mess with my shit every once in a while) and it’s crazy exhausting. You see, I was watching my other boyfriend George Stroumboulopoulos of CBC’s The Hour (I don’t know, he opens every night with “I am your boyfriend George Stroumboulopoulos” so I just stopped arguing – and you really should check it out for a good dose of Canadian media) and he happened to stumble upon one of those horrific scientific discoveries that tells you exactly how the world is going to end. I know, I know, it’s retarded and billions of years anyways. But being reminded that everybody dies eventually is one of those things that makes my brain go GAAAAH!!!!!!!! Because I hate things that are beyond my control, and that’s the one damn thing that has no way around it.

So two days later I’ve still got the panic going on, and I’ve been having a hard time getting my ass in gear. I haven’t crafted anything, because there’s no point doing anything half assed, right? I’ve just been still puttering along on the lime green basketweave scarf.

I’m also in a funk cause work sucks and a good chunk of my clients are a pain in the ass. I’m also in a funk because yesterday was my six month anniversary with Josh, and he was out with friends. To be fair, he didn’t know it was a big deal to me. Hell, I didnt know it was a big deal to me. It’s not even a big deal. It’s just that Josh and I have both been really busy lately, so we’ve missed spending time together, and I had figured it would be a good night to stay in. But things came up at the last minute, and although he offered to stay in once he (once I, really) realized what was on my mind, I didn’t think it would be fair to have him break plans. Plus, it was friends he hasn’t seen in a while, not just his everyday chums that he can see any night of the week. So I gave the blessing to go have fun guilt-free and in exchange he’s set aside tonight for us and acknowledged that our one year anniversary is something to write on the calendar 😉 So I’m not mad at all, really. It’s more that I’m just bummed that I can’t go hang out with my boyfriend and share in his good times with friends. Reminds me that I’m stuck here with the quickly approaching winter.

I’m really trying to pull myself out of the blah’s because they’re just flat out bad for the mind and body. So in an effort to fight it, here’s a list of good things going on:

– I’ve invoiced Romi for the Firecracker scarf, so it seems business is off to a good start so far (*Knocks on wood…in fact, punches wood in the face. That’s much better!*)

– That assmuncher client who was here just for a few days using our boardroom ordered catering again yesterday. (Well, I’m the one who does the ordering, but you know what I mean. He paid for it. Or his bosses did. Or whatever. I don’t care. There was food.) Yes there were egg salad sandwiches, and yes they were on big floppy slices of white bread. Finally, jeez!

– I’ve been given the go-ahead at work to be a little more assertive (I know, right? Me? Not assertive enough?) Meaning that if a client complains about the lock on a boardroom door, I can tell them “Our boardrooms are used and billed by the hour. They need to be self-locking to prevent unauthorized usage. So no, we will not change that for you.” This goes for Talea as well, though her role at work is much more involved than mine. I’m sure this is more of a relief for her than me, but it still makes for a less shitty work environment.

– I was delivering mail to all the offices yesterday, and I had to fart really bad. So I walked into the empty office of a client I particularly dislike and just let ‘er rip. That cheap bastard picked the teeniest tiniest office on the floor. He’s almost never in, but when I delivered the mail today, yesterdays mail had been picked up. He was in there. Awesome.

– I still have an awesome boyfriend, so that pretty much rules

Oh. There we go.

Yeah, I’ve been writing this in spurts here and there throughout the day, and about an hour ago I just sort of snapped out of it. Good news, I’ll be back to my usual self tonight! I’ll be spending most of my time with Josh, but I should be able to swing a bit of craft tonight.

Stay tuned for your regularly scheduled awesomeness.


  1. joanharvest said,

    September 12, 2008 at 8:59 pm

    I’m glad you are feeling better. I’m wondering how your boyfriend, George, thinks the world is going to end and when?

    Assmuncher–that’s a tidy little word. I like it. Very descriptive. I will add it to my repertoire of descriptive words.

    I’m glad you will be spending some quality time with Josh tonight. AWESOME!!!

  2. September 12, 2008 at 9:22 pm

    Glad to hear you’ve made a speedy recovery. I was (and still am a bit) in a funk for months. Once it sets in it’s hard to shake. Good for you and your awesometacticalness. 😛

  3. javaqueen14 said,

    September 13, 2008 at 9:28 am

    Yay for putting the assmunchers in their place at work! This is huge! I love that you ripped a fart in that cheapskates office- you rock! I hope he smelled it. I hope he smelled it REAL GOOD.

    Go on, get back to your awesome self!

  4. Emerald said,

    September 13, 2008 at 2:18 pm

    Awww, you guys are eight different kinds of awesome

    @ Joan: How was your concert dealio? I did think of you! And yes, assmuncher is a fantastic word, as well as douchenozzle. I give full usage permission! No copyrights here!

    And apparently we’re going to get sucked into the sun as it starts to collapse into a supernova about seven billion years from now. I generally like to resort to the idea of reincarnation to alleviate my regular death-fears, so that kind of fucks with my plans a little bit. But maybe by then we’ll morph into super bronzed sunloving creatures, so who knows?

    @ Peter: It IS hard to snap out of it. But for whatever reason, something about cleaning the whiteboard at work just shook my head clear, so I walked back out to reception where Talea was and said “Oh hey. I’m back.” Maybe it was the ammonia? And I’m stealing the term awesometacticalness 😀

    @ Javaqueen: It didn’t occur to me until later that the particular client in question is a little on the smelly side himself, so I don’t know if he noticed. But then again, you are more likely to notice someone else’s brand, hahahahaha!

  5. birdpress said,

    September 13, 2008 at 5:37 pm

    OMG, that was so funny that you farted in that guy’s office! And blogged about it! 😀

    You were a sweetheart to let Josh go off guilt-free with his friends. I hope he makes up for it and the two of you do something fun!

  6. dobeman said,

    September 14, 2008 at 10:42 am

    I’m reminded of a song that I’ve only ever heard on the old Christian Slater movie, “Love Comes In Spurts!” much as your blogging.

    Awesome stuff!

  7. dobeman said,

    September 14, 2008 at 10:43 am

    Wait, that was a poorly formed sentence. What I meant to say was, “…on the old Christian Slater movie, “Pump up the Volume” and the song is, “Love Comes In Spurts.”

    I’ll re-read this later and feel better about having corrected it.

  8. Josh said,

    September 16, 2008 at 12:30 am

    Yeah … uh … that would be an MB, my bad. I had a dude moment, and just kind of forgot that a six month anniversary would be something a woman would find important, cause to me it just seemed like half of a real anniversary. Like celebrating Wednesday as hump day cause it’s halfway to Friday, but you still have two more days of work before the weekend. Anyway, sorry about that. Is the six month thing important every year or just the first year? Just so I can avoid this situation in the future.

  9. Emerald said,

    September 16, 2008 at 2:00 am

    @ Birdpress: Hehehe, he made it up to me 😉

    @ Dobeman: I don’t know that movie, but I love Christian Slater! Oh, that feels like something I shouldn’t be proud of, is it okay to like Christian Slater these days? He had that good one, the Heathers. That was rad.

    @ Mah Behbeh: Meh, I kind of pulled that lame chick-shit I normally try to avoid. But if I wasn’t girly at least some of the time you’d probably be a little turned off. (Although you must admit it’s got to be kind of cool to be dating a chick who you can wake up to demonstrate your awesome fart power and she’ll applaud without her usual wicked sarcasm 😉 ) So I’ll call this one a duo MB. I love you enough to be able to call you out when you’re being an asshole, this wasn’t one of those times 😉 And no, you don’t have to worry about every half year, I think only the first one counts cause the first year is so exciting. By next year we’ll be too busy bitching over which flavour of pop-tarts to keep next to the bed. 😀


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