Fun Developments!

Okay, so the plan is back on to move my ass to the States at some point. This whole college idea for getting Josh up here is not going to work out very well considering the bastards who run the American Judicial System haven’t even handed down his sentence yet, never mind the probationary aftermath, nevermind the drawn out process that is getting ones record pardoned and cleared and blah blah blah, nevermind the following brouhaha of actually getting the college part in gear. You remember the end of highschool, the college bit alone is a confusing and frustrating pain in the ass.

Plus, I’m in the mood for a change of scenery, and for someone with a crazy hectic brain like mine, I think the slower pace could actually be very good for me. That and even if Josh is away by the time I end up down there, just being closer makes me feel better.

There’s just one problem with that. Actually, there are a ton of issues that will have to be traversed, but let’s focus on one thing at a time. Josh is the patient one, who understands the frequent necessity of just sitting back and letting things take their course. No point in spending extraneous amounts of energy on something you can’t control. I however, do not function like that, and it’s the recognition of these differences in thought process that contributes to a succesful relationship (among other things, like our general awesomeness and a healthy abundance of sex appeal). If I’m on the subway and it shuts down, I know there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. I’m going to be late, and that’s that. But this is different, because I feel like I *can* do something. And it’s driving me literally crazy. Crazier. Whatever.

So I want to move. But because I am the impatient one, it’s understood that this is something I am doing of my own perogative. Josh is stuck in limbo, and you can’t make rent money while you’re in jail. It would be unfair of me to decide that I don’t feel like waiting, up and move my ass, and then expect him to cover for me. If I move down there, I need to be able to support myself. Obviously, Josh will and does help out where he can, but I can’t tie someone down to a decision that I made.

That’s not a problem. The problem is my Canadian citizenship. I hope I’m not alerting myself to the FBI here or anything, but from what I can gather, taking up physical space in the U.S. is not so much a problem as it is taking up a job. Understandably, the U.S. government is not keen on the idea of handing out jobs to foreigners while there are able bodied Americans who could be employed in that capacity instead. I’ve explored a fuckton of avenues, and it doesn’t look good. I don’t have any kind of special degree, or a lot of money. And while I’m fantastic at my job, the fact of the matter is that being a highly organized, functional, multitasking administrative assistant is not the most specialized field out there. And Josh and I are not about to get married for the sake of a Green Card. That’s retarded.

What the hell do I do then? Save up a whack of dough, first of all, but what about income beyond that? I figure I need to save up at least a couple grand to live off of for the first couple of months while I get myself settled, but I need to have an income. After being told “no, you suck” by a number of agencies, I went bawling to my friend May. Talea is plenty smart and inventive, but May is smart in different ways, and is all about me moving for the sake of love. Talea, while supportive, is less thrilled by the idea of her best friend moving 800 miles south for a couple of years, while May is used to her friends moving far and wide to chase their dreams. So May sits me down with a coffee and essentially says “Hellooooo? The internet! That’s what we do!” May and her husband are the most incredible, best-geeky-friends style, super nerd awesome couple you can imagine, and they are good at what they do. Think Tron, seriously.

And one of the best things about May is her “You can do it!” attitude. So the fun development: I am building a website! It’s solely for the purpose of making money, but I’m not a complete sell-out. It’s still going to be an awesome project that I’ve seriously contemplated for some time. But now the gears are in motion. I don’t know the first thing about computers, but with the right amount of drive, self-learning, and a little coaxing from my geek-chic friend, I should be able to make something fly.

Here’s the plan! I like to think I’m pretty awesome, and I know how to do awesome stuff. I’d like to share that awesome know-how with my buddies, blog-buddies, and the world at large. The basic premise of the site with thusly be weekly tutorial videos on how to do awesome things. How to make awesome lemon squares, how to make awesome knitting patterns, how to do an awesome hair style, makeup style, crafty project, anything! In fact, I think I’ll title it “How To Be Awesome”. And it will include a bloggy type area, and links where you can buy the fun crafty things I make (I specialize in awesome scarves and have been wanting to sell them for a while), as well as ads for stuff that I genuinely do love and endorse in the hopes that they will pay me for hawking their wares.

So that’s the big news, an official website is on the way! I’ll very likely throw a quick little something together with Google pages while I mire through the technical aspects of HTML and Dreamweaver, but I hope at few of you will come on over and check it out once it goes live.

I shall keep you posted!


  1. joanharvest said,

    August 22, 2008 at 9:34 pm

    I think the web site is an awesome idea but I can’t write anymore until the fucking sun gets off my computer screen. Fuckity Fuck!! It’s too bright!! I’ll be back.

  2. joanharvest said,

    August 22, 2008 at 10:44 pm

    I’m back, the fucking sun is behind a tree. Now I have to read your post all over again because I forgot some (not all) of what I read. is a website that probably makes tons of money using other people’s recipes that people give them for free. So think about that. You could possibly get people to donate their ideas FOR FREE to you. You test them and post the results with a review. Maybe let readers leave reviews too after they’ve tested things you write about. There are many ways to go about this. I think you should definitely go for it and get your blogging buddies FOR FREE to put a link for you on their page.

    I really hope this works for you because I am rooting for you and Josh to be together.

    Soul Mates should be together. I hope everything works out OK with all that court crap for Josh. I’ve been through court crap with my son. Remind me to tell you how my son got a $75 fine for eating 3 chicken nuggets in a grocery store. You’d think he’d pulled a gun on the clerk. All he did was eat three chicken nuggets and they didn’t even taste good.

  3. queenbitch said,

    August 22, 2008 at 10:51 pm

    I like joanharvest’s idea. If you make up pretty linky buttons i’ll proudly display one on my blog. I would also donate money to you if I had a credit card. There is a way for me to get around that.

    Good luck!! Theres another blog shelia I read.. I’m not sure what it is she does its to do with IT and she gets paid like $15 for half an hour. so she can make over 1grand in a day. Get into that! I think it pays more than prostitution.

  4. Emerald said,

    August 22, 2008 at 11:10 pm

    Awww, you guys are so awesome! I’m definitely all over this, and I’m TOTALLY up for people sending me recipes to try! I have to figure out how to put comments in a blog section and blah blah blah, but I think I can definitely make something work!

    Speaking of my current technical inability, I’ve been trying to blogroll youse both, but as you can see by half my blogroll being some weird number, it’s being retarded. Just FYI and stuff.

  5. 2lazydogs said,

    August 23, 2008 at 1:30 am

    Oh, fun, fun, fun is right. You can do it. I did. I took a leap last year and started my own website (yeah, cheesy, I know) and just about shit my pants once I realized what I’d gotten myself into. CSS, and FTP, and SQL, and WTF!!! But, I muddled my way through (using a WordPress template) and eventually added a shop through to sell my crafty wares. If you be needing any help just give me a holler. Not that I’ll be any help but I like to pretend I’m smart and helpful and all that.

  6. teeni said,

    August 23, 2008 at 2:19 am

    Wow – this is so exciting to be able to see all this from the very beginning, like an epic adventure! I was going to suggest when you look in the states for a job to get local papers from the areas where you’d want to be living and answer direct ads to the companies rather than going through an agency. I have never had luck with agencies and it sucks having a middle person involved. The web site idea sounds neat. I hope it works – I will definitely be checking it out and help spread the word if you like.

  7. Emerald said,

    August 23, 2008 at 3:32 am

    @ 2lazydogs: Thanks for the encouragement! I so need it, I’m seriously a techno moron as it currently stands, but I am determined to kick HTML’s ass! It’s so great to have others ahead of me who’ve conquered the beast 😉

    @ teeni: It is exciting! And scary! But also awesome, and for sure you can spread the word, who doesn’t want tutorials on how to make lemon squares? I’m very much looking forward to bringing everyone over to a new, more interactive site. Now I just have to learn and stuff first 😛

  8. Emerald said,

    August 23, 2008 at 3:37 am

    Oh, and I meant “agencies” as in immigration agencies, not employment agencies. I’m pretty much just not allowed to work down there 😦 So via the internet, I will still technically be working in Canada! Or something.

  9. Allie said,

    August 23, 2008 at 9:23 pm

    Check out if you don’t already know what it is. You can sell the things you make, even your lemon squares, anything and everything is on there. I’m pretty much addicted to it now and love it. I to am rooting for you and Josh, good luck!

  10. queenbitch said,

    August 24, 2008 at 12:38 am

    With your blogroll thingee Thats to do with the catagory i think, when you add each person and then tick where you want them to be? that number is the default so you gotta untick that box and tick the right box.

    I used to use HTML in highschool. I was pretty good too. Except its been like 5 years since I’ve used it so I’m of no help to you. There shud be guides n stuff on the net. Or even a HTML for dummies guide would be good. Not that your a dummy.

    I wish you all the best. If theres anything you need just ask I’m sure we could find some way yo help you!!

  11. talea said,

    August 24, 2008 at 7:09 pm

    I am torn and in a rough spot here. I of course, have no desire to encourage you to leave. However, I do want to encourage you to be happy.
    I say, we have Josh fake his own death, then have him come up here and steal someone’s Canadian identify.
    Flawless! I’m a fucking genius!

  12. Emerald said,

    August 24, 2008 at 9:04 pm

    @ Allie: I have heard of Etsy, but I don’t know if they’ll let you sell the same item in two venues. I still want to do the website to sell some ad space (does anyone think mac will pay me to hawk their wares? i really do love them…), and I like to think my own dazzling presence will push some scarves, if I don’t decide to wear them all simultaneously next winter 😛

    @ queenie: I just got a dummies book for html, css, and dreamweaver! i’m so psyched!

    @ talea: don’t worry, it’ll just be an extended vacation, i’m coming right back, i promise! even josh says he wants to live in canada eventually, it’s all good! maybe you could come with while the bf is away at med school! the US is dying for doctors, surely ‘girlfriend of an almost doctor’ will get you a green card.

  13. talea said,

    August 24, 2008 at 9:39 pm

    What? No comment on my flawless fucking plan?

  14. duffboy said,

    August 25, 2008 at 2:41 am

    What a flawless fucking plan, Talea!! There, at least I’ve commented upon it. Now the drama ensues… I had no idea Josh was going to the big house. Let’s hope it’s not for too long. Hang in there, the both of you, and rock on with your how-to-be-awesome-plan 🙂

  15. birdpress said,

    August 25, 2008 at 5:43 pm

    Oh yeah, Talea had an awesome, um, flawless fucking plan! Make that Plan B. 😉

    I think your website idea is great! I know there are tons of people trying to make money online, but I think you could do it. From what I have read, you are ambitious enough, and definitely interesting and funny enough to come up with some ideas to keep visitors coming back! Once you get it started, then you can worry about getting advertising. I bet it’ll be a hit soon enough!

    Etsy is a great idea too. I see links on there for people’s websites, so I’m sure you can sell stuff there and elsewhere too. I actually have bought several things off of Etsy. I prefer to buy gifts from there because I like the idea of giving handmade gifts and also of supporting the artists. Plus, every other freaking thing you can buy anywhere else is made in China.

  16. queenbitch said,

    August 25, 2008 at 10:53 pm

    So last night I couldnt sleep what with the new season of ghost whisperer and the tiny earthquake we had. I got to thinking.

    Here are some questions I have.

    1. can you drive?
    2. Can you drive legally in the usa? do they have the same roadcode?
    3. will you have a usa bank account?
    4. will you need to have i.d references etc for the place your renting?
    5. will you be taking all of your posessions with you? would that look odd taking up an entire bus with all your stuff? or will you send it to josh as gifts or something?

    and now onto my brilliant ideas.

    1. Become one of those life coach guru’s. It cant be that hard. Read one self help book. Use your no nonsense attitude together with your kick arse organisational skills. All you need to do is find some suckers to hire you 🙂

    2. Become a personal shopper person. Tell ppl what they look good in, give them a new hairstyle and a make over. theres millions of money to be had there.

    3. tell yours and josh’s story. Get it in writing. Get published. Tonnes of saddo’s looking for love will buy your book. I would.

    4. Clean hotels. Sure it sucks. Fuck know’s what you’d find but hey it’d be good money and since its usually part time you could do a few jobs at once.

    I think thats all i got. hope its better than taleas idea of killing josh. fake killing josh nearly forgot that part.

  17. romi41 said,

    August 26, 2008 at 1:36 am

    Holy shit, this is so freakin’ exciting! I love your take-charge attitude, and how sweet to combine something you love doing and have wanted to do anyway, and help it benefit the situation with you and your love….yay for awesome plans and for May! 🙂 I can’t wait till your site goes live and I am SO gonna buy some of the cool shit you end up selling! (I have a scarf fetish, did I tell you? 😉 )

  18. Emerald said,

    August 27, 2008 at 12:39 am

    okay okay, it was a freaking genius idea! i’ve just seen too many horrible alfred hitchcock stories where it ends in horror, okay? but i’ll keep it as backup! 😉

    @ duffboy: haha, surprise! my dad doesn’t know either, lets hope he has the same reaction you did 😛

    @ birdpress: thanks! i love knowing i’ve got some readers already waiting for me to finally cut the e-ribbon. and yay supporting artists! i hit up the one of a kind arts show for unique finds. maybe one day i’ll have a booth!

    @ queenie: no, i can’t drive! that’s one thing i’ve got to take care of for sure, but i think NC is considering letting immigrants drive. or i’d have to get my license before moving down, but it’s at least a year away at this point so i’ve got time to figure that out. and i don’t need a usa bank account. my debit card will work anywhere in the world, and i do everything besides take out money via phone or internet. modern age, eh? 😉 and i’m so all over publishing our story eventually, i just want to give it a happy ending first! and yes please i will clean hotel rooms if i could get that job under the table. i’d kill for some low class and charming could-be-a-movie-plot type job, i think that’d be kind of rad.

    @ romi: that’s right you and your scarf fetish! ooooohhh, you will like my wares miss romi. i have some fun things in mind for you. sparkly much? jes please 😀

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